Thursday, November 7, 2024

You would be so sad on this day…

Two days ango Trump was reelected.   By a majority.  If you were here you would be schooling us in all the ways that this violates our democratic principles.  You would tell us that we as a country have come through hard times before.  You would stand beside us in sadness and try to find hope and joy.  I haven’t been able to find the words to truly say how I’m feeling but a friend posted a message that said it well.  I’m adding it to your blog.  It’s the only way I know to share it with you.  

  The America I knew and loved is forever gone. 

Originally From Harvard ethics professor Christopher Robichaud:


“Everyone in the days and weeks ahead will use this loss as an opportunity to seek validation for their own hobby horse complaint. Harris lost because she campaigned with Liz Cheney. Harris lost because she didn't embrace Gaza. Harris lost because she didn't choose Shapiro. Harris lost because she wasn't progressive enough (possibly my favorite one).


Take a good hard look at the map, my friends. Trump has won the popular vote. Trump ran the table. Explaining that with your hobby horse issue isn't going to cut it, tempting and consoling as it may be.


The problem isn't the electoral college. The problem isn't that we didn't have a full primary. The problem isn't Harris. The problem isn't that Dems didn't have the right message. The problem isn't even inflation or the border.


The problem is so much worse than any of those things. Those are all technical problems, with straightforward expertise fixes. If only it were so! No, our problem is not technical. It's very much adaptive. A party that embraced the Big Lie, supported an insurrection, and has been selling conspiracy-addled madness for years was widely and enthusiastically embraced. Voter turnout was profound! People didn't sit this out. 


Simply put, the problem--as some of you have rightly posted--is cultural. America, culturally, has completely abandoned a politics of decency and respect and has embraced instead a politics of resentment, revenge, false nostalgia, and bullying. And if you look at the demographics, you also won't be able to comfort yourself that it's just a white thing, or a working class thing, or an education thing. It's multi-class, multi-gender, multi-educational and multi-racial. That's what winning the popular vote means. That's what running the table amounts to.


A culture that has descended to this level of debasement is not easily fixed. In fact it may not ever be fixed. The timeline for changing something like this is decades--at best--not two-to-four year election cycles. You can extend that in this case, because with the GOP likely controlling all branches of federal government and the courts, they will ensure that mechanisms are in place to keep them in power long after their popularity has waned. You can count on that.


The GOP evolved into a party of rage, lies, and revenge--and it correctly diagnosed that there was and is a large appetite for that. That's what the country wants. At least, enough of the country wants it to ensure broad appeal and widespread electoral success. The old GOP will never return, and the Dems have nothing to say to American culture at the moment. Nothing. They've been speaking to a country that's gone, like dust in the wind.


The America I knew and loved is gone. This new America--nah, I won't even bother. I will say that cultural change is less likely to occur in politics, or in the academy. You're not going to get people to see how vulgar they've become through a clever argument or a nice campaign speech, that's for sure. 


This would be time for the arts, broadly understood, to step in. The arts can change hearts and minds. Too bad the arts have been systematically dismantled in education in this country, and on the other end, the tech industry's assault on the arts through AI is sure to hollow out any good-faith efforts that might emerge.


And for the rest of the world, America's rightward lurch is, I'm afraid, bad news for you too. I know you know this. Because it's not isolated, is it? It's just at the moment the most prominent example of a burgeoning trend. And this will embolden others in other countries, to be sure. We need not speculate what happens when countries become mired in lies, embrace resentment, and savor bullying. We know exactly what happens. Bloody conflict and global destabilization. 


The first quarter of the 21st century will therefore in hindsight be viewed as the seed-planting stage for the absolute shit show that's about to unfold globally over the next two and a half decades. Count on it.


Adopt whatever coping and endurance strategies you have available. You're going to need it. 


And now, it is finished. All of it. Everything. It is done. It is over. Everything is over. EVERYTHING.

Sunday, November 22, 2020

We still miss you every day....

 This year Thanksgiving will fall on November 27 and Black Friday on the 28th, for the first time since you left us almost five years ago.   

Life has continued and all of us who love you have found new joys and smiles.  But November 27 will always be tainted with  sadness and we will always feel that someone is missing no matter how many people surround us.  It will always seem like we should hear your booming voice cheering on your fave teams and making us laugh.  

You are missed.  You made a difference in more lives than you will ever understand.   Evan as you struggled with your own demons and flaws, you kept loving  us and making us laugh. Our lives hold echoes of your smiles and hugs and unconditional love.  


We still miss you every day   

Monday, August 1, 2016

Smoky Mountain Memories

this weekend, Sammie and I met Devin Andrea and Simone in Gatlinburg.  Our Gatlinburg.  Everywhere my eyes fell I looked and longed for you.  Only a few months ago we were talking about our next trip  to the Smokies.  About renting a cabin and enjoying the blue mist and calm.   Now that can never be.

It was heartwarming to visit our special places with beloved family but the chasm of your absence was ever at my side.  Dinner at The Peddler where we had our wedding night meal.  Newfound Gap where you stood by the sign for the Appalachian Trail for a picture and later told everyone you had hiked the trail   Not likely.  Not you.

We rode the skyway tram and I remembered you and I holding hands and laughing as we neared the top   The camera caught our joy.  It's a photo I treasure.

I'm glad I had family around me on this journey.  I don't know if I will ever return again to Gatlinburg.  Our Gatlinburg.

Most days my time is a routine but in moments like these the ache of losing you returns and is overwhelming.  It makes me want to sleep and not awaken to the emptiness.   I keep going because I am a survivor and because I don't want to cause pain to those who love me.  And because Pepper and Cinny need me.  and because I know you would want me to smile and not cry.  To live and not just exist.

But I miss you and who I was with you.  Who we were in Gatlinburg.  Our Gatlinburg.



Tuesday, January 5, 2016

The world keeps turning but youre still missed

Each day, you seem a little further away...a little less real ...a little more like a dream I imagined in the depths of my heart ...

You were a man, with flaws and imperfections like all of us
with secrets and sorrows and shame
and yet you were also kind and caring and gentle ...and loved

I still miss you every day...

Sunday, December 27, 2015

One month ago..... we were smiling and laughing ...and now you are gone....

One month ago today, I lost the love of my life, Paul Simpson the Christmas holiday was difficult for myself, our family and his many friends. Thank you for your support -for the hugs, hope, well wishes, prayers, food and flowers Please remember to say "I love you" to those who matter in your life. I'm so glad we did that and Paul died knowing he was loved



Thursday, December 24, 2015

Our Little Home is missing you at Christmas...



Out little home...and me...and our cat-babies...miss you every day, but especially this day

I will never understand how God can take a man who was working so hard to change his life, and leave on Earth the ones who do nothing but evil. 

I put up the tree the last day you were here--if not, there would be no tree, for I have no desire to celebrate.

I want to be there for our family--be happy for the grandkids--but the most I can do is fake a smile.. Because you are not here and I feel so alone and lost

I can say Merry Christmas, but it doesn't feel Merry ....

I love you

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Sunday Silence

Our little town home on Sunday Silence Way is silent this Sunday of your presence and smile
It's been 3 weeks and 2 days since you died and I don't know how long I will need to maintain the countdown.  In Sunday's you would go to your morning meeting and we would then meet up at church. Now I travel to church alone where I am greeted by the reminder of your life and death as I approach the Magnolua tree where we scattered your ashes.

Some days I stay busy and try to move forward with the steps that are needed to continue and build a new life without you. Other days simply getting out of bed and knowing that I won't be greeted by the smell of your coffee and cologne seems more than I can do

I wish I could have one more day with you to say all the things unsaid and to simply hold you for hours on end and record the images and sounds and smells of you and us. I lost more than you. I lost us. I lost the day to day happiness of being your wife.

Other family members and friends are going on with their lives and I am trying but so often wonder why.
I miss you.